How I know I've gotten Old . . .

* I'm senile now . . . I got on the elevator this morning going to work and after standing that for about a minute I realized that I had forgotten to push the button.
* Today's "fashion" bothers me . . . why do punk kids think I want to see their underwear? Not attractive.
* My friends apologize for calling me so late and it's only 10:00. I remember days when I used to "nap" until about that time before going out for the night.
* I actually told Jon the other day that the music was too loud.
* Speaking of music, what is this crap that they're putting out these days?
* I ate some Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs for dinner the other night and just didn't get the same "giddy" feeling I did as a kid.
* There's more food than beer in my refrigerator.
* Most of my friends are married with kids. Some of them have already divorced.
* My yearly vacation time has gone from 130 days to about a week (sometimes two).
* Older relatives now feel comfortable telling sex jokes around me.
* I actually eat breakfast at breakfast time.
* Parts of my body can predict changes in the weather